Fearfighting has been among my battles ever since I chose the path of authenticity and awareness.
I believe fear is what prevents us from being our best:
- We don’t allow ourselves to try something new, because we fear we might not be good at it.
- We hesitate to consider a new job opportunity or relocation, because we fear the discomfort of change.
- We refuse to open up to people, because we fear they might betray us.
- We don’t take risks, because we fear the unknown.
Most of time, we fear something which hasn’t happen yet – and might never happen. Hence, we create unreasonable and useless pain for ourselves. Plato, the Greek philosopher, says it better:
“Fear is pain arising from the anticipation of evil.”
Over the years and all the self-development work I’ve been doing, I set up a Fearfighting technique in six steps. Here we go:
Step 1- Identify your fear.
Step 2- Acknowledge it.
Step 3- Realize that this thing or event you fear, might never materialize.
Step 4- Consider what the worst scenario would be, if it did materialize.
Step 5- See if there’s something you can do to prevent it from happening. Work on it.
Step 6- Accept your fear as part of who you are.
This 6-step technique might sound difficult at first. It does require a bit of practice, like anything else you want to achieve in life. I always say, “Everything is about practice.” There is nothing you can’t master, if you keep practicing.
I found that being authentic and making vulnerability one of my strengths help me tremendously with Step 6- “Accept your fear as part of who you are”. But may I remind you that this is no excuse to ignore your fear and do nothing about it. Here are a few additional tips you might consider if you want to practice Fearfighting:
- Get used to stretching your comfort zone – or even better: step out of it.
- Choose action. Because the more you do, the more confident you will become in your capacity to deal with difficult situations, obstacles and fears.
- Never stay stuck. Reach out to people for help – professionals if needed (coaches, psychiatrists, hypnotherapists, etc.)
- Look your fear in the eye and have a serious talk with it (make sure you’re alone to do so, or do it on the paper, otherwise people around might think you’ve gone insane). This should help you understand the origin of your fear, lessen its importance, and sometimes even put an end to it.
Don’t let fear keep you stuck. Instead, fear a life of regrets and remember that no day can be repeated.